Financial Secrets

Financial secrets are often the cause of marital strife. Oftentimes, these secrets lead to divorce. In order to have a healthy marriage, couples need to have an honest open discussion about their finances before they get married. After they’re married, they cannot keep financial secrets from one another. During the dating stage, you are getting to know each other and each other’s habits, likes, and dislikes. Just as you are learning those things, you need to learn about each other’s finances.

Every individual has their own feelings about money. Sometimes when someone grows up in a household with money struggles, they decide that when they grow up they don’t want to have any financial or money worries. Therefore, they become very thrifty/frugal and save. Other times, they adopt an attitude of I am not going to do without and they indulge their desires, even when they cannot afford it. They do this by charging up their credit cards.

On the other hand, when someone grows up in household where there are no money struggles, they might grow up to expect not to have any money struggles either. They could grow up to become savers. They want to be able to offer their offspring the same lifestyle they experienced. Other times, they might grow up and become spenders. Again, using credit to finance their lifestyle.

For these reasons, each couple needs to know the other person’s money habits.

  1. Do they tithe?
  2. Are they spenders?
  3. Are they savers?
  4. Do they have credit card debt?
  5. Do they have student loan debt?
  6. Do they use payday loans to cover their monthly bills?
  7. Do they use other loans from banks, friends, family to cover their lifestyle?
  8. Do they save more than they should to the point where they do not have any fun?
  9. How many credit cards do they have?
  10. What’s their FICO score?

These are all questions that each couple needs to address before they say, “I do.” Once you’re married, don’t hide debt or savings from each other. Establish a monthly budget and stick to it. Adjust the budget as needed. Save for major expenses, retirement, savings, a home, etc. Agree to make your  tithe your first item to pay. By being open and honest with each other about finances and not keeping financial secrets, your marriage will be healthier and happier.


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