Couples very often have money wars with each other. They argue about money and debt. They blame each other for overspending, for not making enough money, and for not saving. Often couples are unable and unwilling to cut each other slack when it comes to money. They resent the fact that the other person is not allowing them to spend their money the way they want.
If you want to stop these money wars, then you need to put aside your feelings of it’s my money. I earned it. I should be able to spend it however I want. This type of attitude is that of a spoiled child. You are not a child. You are a married individual with responsibilities. You have debt. You have monthly bills. They all need to be paid. Stop throwing tantrums and stop arguing.
Some of you might be saying that’s not me. I’m not spoiled; it’s my spouse who’s spoiled. He/she spends money like it grew on trees. It does not matter who spent the money. What matters is your relationship and your attitude. When you took your wedding vows you became one. Becoming one does not just involve the physical, it involves everything including money.
Genesis 2:24 – This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.
You have joined your money and your debt. The thing to remember is that you both need to be on the same page about your finances. You both need to decide that you want to get control of your money and stop having money wars. Apologize to each other for whatever hurtful things you might have said and felt. Wipe the slate clean and commit to becoming debt-free. Start leaving on a spending plan, track your expenses, use the debt snowball, start saving in your emergency fund, and start saving for your retirement, your home, and children’s college education.
Read these posts to get you going:
- How to create a spending plan;
- How to eliminate debt – Part 1 & Part 2;
- Debt snowball